I’d Rather Have…

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. For some people this day is a cause for depression or, for the cynical, a reason to make fun of romance. For many others this day represents a time to do some sort of romantic gesture for their partners – and for some of those people (the partners, I mean) it’s the one time of year that a romantic gesture happens, so they really look forward to it. Wives and girlfriends expect cards and roses and chocolates and jewellery, and most get upset if they don’t receive something. And, the thing is, the most of them deserve it, because they only get a bit of romance and tenderness the one time a year, so they have to make the most of it.

Spouses who regard their partners as little more than the furniture the rest of the year act like they can make up for their neglect and constant taking their significant others as insignificant with one day of wine and roses.  And, the really sad thing is that quite a number of the neglected ones of these pairs just accept this as the status quo, just think of it as the norm, and so go along with it and take what they can get on the one day of the year when some romantic kindnesses are showered on them. Their marriages are a desert wasteland the rest of the year, but there’s this one day where they can expect a bit of sweetness and admiration and perhaps a bit of selflessness from their partners. They just accept this and act like the diamond ring and the dozen overpriced roses make up for the [continued] lack of what Valentine’s Day is really about:

Love.

They take their chocolates and place a plaster (band-aid) on the gaping wound for another year.

Hmm…

 

Do you know what Jamie got me for Valentine’s day this year?

Nothing.

Nothing and…

 

Everything!

You see, finances are really, really tight right now. Money goes to necessities to live only:  food and shelter. Jamie told me he would love to lavish gifts upon me… and he was sad that the funds just weren’t there. But, you see, as much as I love to receive gifts, I have something far more precious than any shiny trinket or full-bloom rose or tasty soft centres.

The trinkets will tarnish. The roses will fade. The chocolates would just make me fatter than I already am.

When Jamie told me, tearfully, that he wished he had the money to get me a Valentine’s gift, I told him this:

“I know that there are loads of husbands out there that have given their wives presents – nice things – for Valentine’s Day, but none of them are half the man that you are.

“I would rather have a husband who comes home to me, a husband who adores me, a husband who doesn’t cheat on me and who doesn’t neglect my heart, a husband who loves me – the husband that you are rather than have any of those other husbands and their band-aid gifts!”

I understand that some spouses will take what they can get, they will settle and accept…they must for their sanity. I understand that. I also know that I am extremely blessed. I know that what I have is rare and, therefore, considered unusual by many people.

The one thing that was impressed upon me most strongly this Valentine’s Day was how awesome it is to know – to be sure - you are with the one you belong with. How wonderful it is to have absolutely no question about that.

I recently read The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. It’s a marvellous read. And, for me, it was one of those personal books that I could see a bit of myself and my own story in. The strongest example of this is in a love that overcomes everything – an eternal love, and two people who are sure that they are for each other, truly meant to be together.

I said near the beginning of this that Valentine’s Day is about Love. Over the years it has come to be associated with romance but, as much of a romantic and believer in romance as I am, there is so much more to love – and really loving someone – than romance. It’s a part of the picture, something that adds to a beautiful composition, but it is not the whole; it is one of the many expressions that comes from a heart that loves.

What is love?

 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

(1 corinthians 13:4-8 ESV)

Wow, this means that real love is powerful. And, it isn’t fickle. It isn’t here one moment and gone the next. It endures. It believes, it never stops believing. It never gives up. It isn’t something that stops. Not if it’s real.

People have relationships that end, and we hear them say, “we just don’t love each other anymore”. I would say that the relationship ended because they never really loved one another in the first place!

But, I’m not hear to preach (even though I have quoted Scripture at you). I just want to share my joy at being so blessed; consider this me counting my blessings.

Ask me if I had a good Valentine’s Day 2010, and I will tell you, “Oh…yes…. I was loved.”

I am loved, and I would choose this love over the alternative any day! And, it is this love, this marvellous love story – this divine, incorruptible force, that inspired the artwork that finishes off this post:

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